Cannot Trust The Book

My feeling do not belong
In a book that I feel is wrong
I can't tell it my pain
Or this gut wrenching shame

This book is not my own
It is a book on loan
I write the events
That makes my world tense

I write of my troubles
And my tiniest of grumbles
But now I know what happens
And now my enthusiasm dampens

I can't write about whom I cherish
Because then I am seen as foolish
My writing has no influence
No one knows of my innocence

My tears have splashed its pages
It remembers my life in stages
Upset to happy
Angry to sappy

This book was my release
My new lease
But now I cannot trust it
The pieces do not fit

One person was my object of desire
But now that idea has come under fire
Now I have drifted apart
And now I have all this pain in my heart

This book was the world to me
And now all these things I have been forced to see
That my secrets aren't secure
Please don't give me a lecture

I think that my thoughts will stay
In the poems that have lots to say
They are safe mixed into a story
And not prised as an enemies glory

I can't believe how much I believed
And how soundly relieved
That I had something to relate to
And I could start telling what is true

But how short live
The secureness it would give
Now I do not want to leave
All my little grief's

This book will no longer hold
All the things that my life unfolds
I'm sorry but I must now revise
All of the lies

I wrote this for you
So you know that this is true
And so you know why I will not say
All these things I will keep at bay