I feel so empty...
so alone
alone inside myself feeling sick,
sick that i just don't want to live anymore.
I am so confused with what i want but i know if i could have anything my dying heart desires is to be with you once again.
I hold myself on the thread limb, piece of loving flesh when you kiss her or when your near her but inside i really just tear myself apart....I feel like a piece of machinery dying of rust and falling to pieces on the floor.
You wonder why i feel so...
Well its not really your fault but it is...
If you didn't break me from your grip and then go with her i would guarantee i would not be screaming of pain and breakage and cutting open my satin skin in the corner of my room.
I scream your name in my sleep,
i see you walk by and i have to look i just cant hold back.
I walk along side you and i just make up excuses just to touch you and whenever you get close to me i feel joy and sorrow again!
I am still so in love i accept it but I'm trying to deny it!
Acceptance of your love and the one who you are but in denial because you seem to be in love with someone else and it hurts to feel that i am alone but your not and i just need to feel that security again. i need to find someone else to fulfill this love of mine.
I cant seem to find a new love only crush but still hold something so precious and sacred in my fragile heart! come find me come save me come get me from my misery.
It scares me to hell because my thoughts of you run through my head as much as suicide does and I'm scared to die but at the same time not afraid at all...i just don't want to live with this pain that will not fully go away......my heart is slowly dying and i don't want people to regret i don't want to loose memory i just hope that my dying heart can make it just a little bit farther before i try to put myself to rest
