That was so sad, keep writing my friend and you'll be even more talented

I really liked this poem of yours, it's so sad and powerful. Particularly liked the end of the poem:
I take my last breath, and smile,
I say to myself
"It's all over now, no more pretending."
As I found these lines really worked well after the short, snappy lines that decribed the suicide.
Just an idea, try writing out the poem again and remove all of the I's from the lines that begin "I", just a suggestion. Great stuff, 5/5 x

Hey you commented on one of my poems so I thought I would do the same. I like the ending for this one. 5/5

Very sad and chilling. Great read I like the rhyme floor and no more that was effective.
Good job
Aaron (remo)

Its a really emotional poem and very well written, but its a topic thats written a million times before and you managed to pull if off as your own w/ the last line. ;) great job

Wow! That was deep! I truely hope it was just a poem! Love life and live for the moment!

As I lay in my blood on the floor,
I take my last breath, and smile,
I say to myself
"It's all over now, no more pretending."

sometimes i just feel like ending it all... and i think that... but i cant bring myself to end it all... because i dont want to heart anyone that might love me. great write, 5/5 -Jen-

I didn't really like the line,
"Cause I can't take the pain no more."
Too much slang for my liking, which isn't very poetic.

But good stuff still, 5/5

Awhh this was sad:[ but you did a great job writing it and i gave it a 5/5. never stop writing poems because every poem you write will make you a better writer everytime!:]