Just dont know

Disappointment settles deep within
i don't know how i even let this begin
do i love him?
i don't think i do
and yet its something different
something new
he makes me feel a certain way
no one else has been able to
this 'relationship' is a walking time-bomb
easy to misconstrue
do i walk away
or follow through?
continue on with the secret rendezvous...
its all such a mess
i don't want it to be true
i need only the reminder
of the depth of my mistake
by seeing his tattoo...
but i don't even know
how to begin to let go
or if i even want to...
i just don't know