Final goodbye

What do you do when your life changes right in front of you and you don\'t or cant change it and everything you loved and everything you are ...dissolves in a matter of time. You live like you are dieing and only have a matter of time to spend to live and be with the ones that except you for who you really are, the ones that were there for you through the hardest time and now its time to say goodbye... sure you will see them time to time but you know things will never be the same and thinking of that just kills you inside like dieing a slow and painful death that takes all your energy and happiness and turns it into tears and depression knowing that things wont be the same and you knowing when you look at your friends you want to scream and cry your heart out for them. Thinking about it makes you cry you spend hopeless nights tossing and turning at night crying your eyes out that when you look at yourself in the morning your eyes are all puffy from crying all night hoping, wishing things would change, waking up into the darkness and wishing that you were someone else, some place where you can breath and be able to be with the ones you love and except you for who you are. You sit at lunch and you look at everything in slow motion and you see the ones that except you for who you are and you look them in the face and you see how happy they are and you realize that in a matter of time its going to be gone and nothing will be the same without them, you know they are one of a kind, you look over at the table and you see them laughing and you remember the old times when you could just look at them without a worry in your eye, that everything will be OK then you think about what you would ever do without and know that they are in-replaceable....