Never Gone

I'm drained and depressed.
I cannot lie.
I find it impossible
to tell you good-bye!

I like you so much,
and something tells me I always will,
but every time I feel I get ahead,
some other girl you know gets you for a steal.

You're just what I've always wanted
and all I know I need,
but that girl has you now.
I lie alone and bleed.

I look at your page too much,
and I see your vibrant smile,
and since school's been out,
I haven't seen you in a while.

At least you'll see her every week
while I forget you with my mind.
My heart will still be ripping
as I struggle to leave you behind.

I KNOW in my heart you'll never stop
to notice me as anything more than a friend,
but I keep trying to convince myself
that you'll put my desires to an end.

I've tried on my own before
with a poem I laugh at now,
and I know I still have to do it
some way, somehow.

I feel like you already see
the feelings behind my eyes,
and that you're just torturing me on purpose,
but my head always tells me these lies.

I've started to pray to God
to let me hate you,
but I know that's not his will,
so my prayers are in vain, too.

So, in closing, I ask you--
be cruel and do something mean or rude.
Catch my vibes and follow them
or make me hate you with something crude.

Don't be so nice to me
or ignore me altogether.
Don't even make the smallest conversation,
not even about the weather.

But there's always that option, though
to accept me as The One,
even as something tells me you won't,
just know, the option's never gone.