Why do I bring this upon myself?
Because it\'s true, it is my fault
I create the stress and the sorrow
With my own thoughtless actions
i do things, say things
Without actually thinking of what will come of it
And in turn, I make those I care about-
Those whom I want nothing from
But for them to think im worth something
That I am SOMEONE-
I just get them annoyed
And dread talking to me, for,
All it brings is talk of my sorrow
Talk of them hating me
Though no matter how true
The subject is not one we are pleased to discuss
A topic that I, as well, do not wish to speak
Yet it is none the less discussed
I must always bring what I hate the most
Down upon myself
And I must always create the hate
That others feel towards me
For, you see, what they say
It is not their fault
I am the one who makes them say these things
Why cant I just be a normal person?
Why cant I just be like everybody else?
A girl who can get whatever they\'d like
One who never has a reason to weep
For their life is perfect
And there are no options
You do what she wants done
You love her, not another
And those fortunate enough to be with her
Do not cheat and lie
They appreciate her
They appreciate what she is
And so does she
And she has no reason to mistrust
Because in all her relationships
She has been treated royally
Whereas me, my relationships have been everything but.
The only one I have loved who has loved me back,
He was a cheater. A cold blooded cheater
He was a liar. A heartless liar
He told me he cared for me, I was the only one
But he was a who.re. And I never even saw it
And he told me it was over. Heartbroken as I was, I knew why.
I knew it was because I wasn't sl.ut enough for him
I had dignity, respect, something I was not supposed to have
I was supposed to listen to everything he said
And I had to go against my beliefs
None of which I did. I mean, how could I?
I know that he told me we were through
Just because I wouldn't have se.x with him.
Though he got plenty anyways
He cheated, and everyone knew
Though they never thought to tell me until after.
After it was too late, after HE had already told ME
It was over
And that's not the worst of it
After he shattered my heart,
He told me he would still die for me
That he still loved me
Some days, he talked to me as if we were still together
And some, he talked as if I weren't worthy of this earth
He was the one
I thought I would spend the rest of my life with
But that was before
Before I knew it all
Before I knew the real him
But he is still the one I wish I could
Spend the rest of my life with
This is because
He loves my love for him
So he wont let me go
He talks his sweet talk
While with another still
I wonder how he talked to others
When he was "mine"
How had he been able
To look me straight in the eye
And tell me he loved me
I was the only one
And he wanted to be with me
How had I believed this lie?
How had I been able to be with him and think
This is the man who loves me
This is the man I love
This is the man I live for
And he is the one I would die for
He would help he with the bad times
And he would be with me for the good
How hadn't I seen through his lie?
How could I just sit there
In my own little fantasy
While he was living in the real world
One of deceit, of lies and cheats,
One in which I had no meaning
I was but a girl he told he loved
While he went against all of her wishes
And though I had no reason to
When he told me it was over
I wept. I wept for countless hours for reasons unknown
Whereas he, he got over it much too quickly
It was disgraceful
Less than a week after he had shattered my heart
He had taken anothers
And it was sickening. There was scarcely any love
All they did was have se.x.
That, and cheat, and they both knew it.
They knew that the other cheated, but it made no difference
Is this all that's important to men?
If someone does not do that which she swore she wouldn't do
Was she destined to a life of loneliness and sorrow?
Has the world lost all dignity?
These thoughts pain me, yet there is no way around them
We, who remain with our dignity
We are destined to a life of solitude
A life of heartbreaks
By those who don't deserve the satisfaction of that destruction
We are the ones who deserve the best
Yet we are the ones
Who receive the worst.
~~i wrote this about my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me so much, and yet i cant get over him, and i dont know why
