The only rhyme I thought was a bit silly was the 'destined/danced in' rhyme, it is a slant rhyme, and the two phrases are a little too similar sounding for me to be comfortable with it. Besides that, the rhyme and the rhythm all seemed in place. I didn't think that the river would literally divide anything, and I didn't think this poem would have drug references, but it was just an interesting suprise. Good poem.

I really do like your style. This flowed rather smoothly, and I liked how rhyming didn't seem so forced. I liked how you expressed diversity and stereotypes... Well done!

I was honestly expecting something gruesome at the end, so just being pot smoking hippies was nice :)
The flow throughout was good and you kept me completely intrigued from start to finish.
I really enjoyed how you described little things like the sprinklers and the water echoing...very nice.
Take care and keep it up~Holly

I love this. I think it has a lot of emphasis to today's culture, except for the hippie part, because I'm not really sure if we still have them. But hey, what do I know. Great Poem, I really enjoyed it. Keep it up!

Wow..that did paint a picture...gr8 work. very descriptive...5/5 btw thnx 4 enterin my contest!
#1

Beautiful poem. Great rhythm and a nice hint of humor in the poem.

Wow, I usually dont like anything about nature and envoirment, but I gotta tell ya, this was a great poem.

For this river is what divides us,
from the gangsters and the preps.
We are the pot smokin' hippies,
and this river divides us best.

I thought that wasn't the best way to end the poem, maybe re-word it, or something completely different. But besides that it was great. 5/5

~Caught in this pain again~
~*Bryce Dressler*~

I think you did perfect on your rhyming and the ending was just fine. You wrote this poem perfectly. No matter what people will say. Your an great writer and don't forget that.

-ifihide11

Haha, what? the beginning was reminded me of being about 10, riding around with bikes and exploring, then the pot-smoking hippies totally threw me off. so... i think this is meant to be funny..... : D
i liked all of the description