A Dream

by Gaberial   May 30, 2006


My mind's the prison,
I'm the inmate.
I'm on death roll,
Because of my hate.

My heart's the guard,
So when I try to escape,
I get trowen against the bars,
And ready for the rape.

My blood's the poison,
They make me drink it,
I try to resist,
But they make me admit.

Now I've died,
And gone to Hell.
And what I saw,
I would never tell.

Satan is killed by an angel,
And He leaves me his crown.
We all know what's needed to be done,
We all chant "bring heaven down."

The war begins,
We are winning.
WE wage for years,
But that's just the beginning.

It's just me and God now.
So he asks why.
I tell him I don't know,
and begin to cry.

I long for death, I tell him.
And he stands there silent.
He begins to laugh,
And I get violent.

You are worthless, I shout.
Just as weak as I am.
He replies, you don't understand.
You are still a young lamb.

My hand goes straight through his heart,
White blood everywhere.
And I walk away,
Finally out of the nightmare.

Once again, a dream I had...

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Wow.. that was a pretty intense dream. I liked the poem though. It was really good. Nice job.

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "I'm on death roll,"
    What is death roll? Death row?
    ~~~
    "I get trowen against the bars,"
    thrown was spelt incorrectly
    ~~~
    "And what I saw,
    I would never tell."
    Really? It seems like you go right on to tell about it anyway. I'd change the line to actually make sense.
    ~~~
    "I long for death, I tell him.
    And he stands there silent."
    How can you long for death when you already died and went to Hell?
    ~~~
    Interesting dream, and neat storyline. The rhyming was pretty well done, though I thought there was an absence of a strong rhythm in the poem, and some of the things were described more blatantly than I would have liked.

  • 18 years ago

    by Evil love

    That's a creepy dream, but it made a pretty good poem

  • 18 years ago

    by aaron 1 remo

    Again a very nice poem. I did howver give you a four because there were a few imperfections. First of all the spelling and grammer; stanza 2 line three it is spelt thrown and stanza 6 line 3 you've written WE instead of We. No big deal just thought I'd let you know. Now the reason I gave you a 4 not a 5 I felt that some of the rhymes were a bit forced i.e. stanza 3 'drink it' and 'admit'. And the rhythm is a bit unsteady but apart from that you have a very good poem.
    Keep it up
    Aaron (remo)

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    That sounds like a really messed up dream man. The flow and rhymes were good in this poem. You left a lot of room for the imagination, especially the battle scene. I saw it playing in my mind. Really weird reading this poem though, I had a messed up 'nightmare' last night. lol anyways awesome stuff man.

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