With a Blade and Wanting

by Drew Gold   Jun 1, 2006


With a blade and wanting
god she found out that
many pretty little secrets
lie closed; shut off
like a smile straining
against darkness. she sat
scratching hope onto paper
wondering how many pints
of blood it would take
to spell agony or even
simple sympathy. most days
for her it didn't matter
how close to the edge she
came or how blurred her
vision was from seeing
black and white lines cross
and stretch towards the
infinite—she lived happily
in her grey area, away
from rot of the outside
world. hands clasped
in prayer to the stars
she knelt beneath and
begged for an escape more
permanent. with a blade
and wanting god she found it
hard to believe in any secret
other than the one just
on the tip of her tongue
lying in wait to burst
forth and shine like a
shooting star through the
night.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    I loved the line 'scratching hope into paper'...I just liked it all around...great feel to it. 5/5
    ~Jules

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen Angel

    Stunning write, easy to see that this began as a piece of prose, but the use of such splendid imagery means that it easily makes the transitition to poetry by the use of some well placed line breaks. I think this poem might possibly be more powerful if it were broken into stanzas, one reason being the use of repetition in the end of the poem; the way that it mirrors the beginning, maybe it's just me but I think this would work better with a little separation. Alternately alter the line break so that the lines
    "begged for an escape more
    permanent. with a blade
    and wanting god she found it
    hard to believe in any secret"
    end up as
    "with a blade and wanting
    god she found it hard
    to believe in any secret"
    I just think that this would help to emphasise the cyclic nature of this poem. Anyway, enough rambling, what I meant to say was great write, 5/5. Beautiful poem x

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