Sick of it

Nothing ever works how it should and how u want it too be.
it f*&#s up all the time
i ask myself.. whats the point?
i don't f*&#ing know
now i cant stop crying and shaking
the blood staining my jumper
i don't know what to do
I'm sick of it
I'm f&*#ing sick of it
i want friends
i want my bf
i want it both
but no i cant have both can i
he wont let me
they want me back
F*&# i think that i shouldn't have to choose
ill choose for myself
not for them