Heart break

by NotreDameDon287   Jun 2, 2006


You have broken my heart
because of your lies
your lies about friends
who are more
you lied to me
and broke my heart
it is shattered in pieces
all over the ground
scattered on the floor
hard to find
hard to smile
hard to talk
hard to look
for all the little
tiny pieces
of my heart
that you have broken
so because of your lies
you have broken my heart

(C) Copyright 2005-2006 by John O'Shea

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by damaris avila

    Aww this is sad. are u ok now, though?
    i hope u are, john

  • 18 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "it is shatered in peices" should be 'shattered' and 'pieces'

    "tiny peices" should be 'pieces'

    So I thought it was interesting that your first two lines were nearly your last two lines. There was also a stretch in the middle with the repitition of "hard to ____" that I thought was pretty good. However, I think that once again you're telling instead of showing, and that you should work on using creative language and poetic tools like metaphors to deepen your poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by firexflys

    Nice job keep it up.

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