THe sentences of the poem is too long, it is best to find a more suitable sentences/ words that could replace what you are trying to say.....but then...great job....keep it ON!

This is SO amazing!
I love the last stanza its so adorable!!!
I also like the poem overall
great work hun that was really awesome!
Keep it up
Best Of Luck
NemO x0x0x0x

Wow mez! lo0ol awesome piece!! hehe yeah i havent been on the site for pretty long but couldnt wait to check urs out.. keep it up!
definately has a meaninful theme behind it.. sometimes u have to look behind the fake smiles and all to realise the truth.. pretty neat the way u put everything together=) xXx
loads of love.
lostlllsoul

Alee Mez!!! its brilliant kasam it totali got at me lolz aleeeeee its soooo gud!! u desrve a medal man! lve u loadz xXx

Hey,
I LOVE reading all of your work...
all of your pieces are full of emotion and so enjoyable for the readers. Thanks for doing your stuff, keep it up!
*Sara

You have such talent, u can write really well, i thought the stanza:

What you don't see
Is the pain
Engraved upon that soul;
The darkness
The light, they have stole

used amazing imagery n was just so well penned. fantastic poem

That last stanza gave me cold chills up the waheezy! You're an amazing poet! Favoriting~

I agree,rhyme isn't everything..the important thing is having a good imagination and a good vocabulary...and you have both
Keep it up
Take care
Laura