Passage for Hope Vs Hurt

I'm feeling exhausted, but can't seem to sleep,
Fighting back tears through my eyes.
Haven't been walking, but theres a strain on my feet,
And an aching from my toes to my thighs.

There's a numbing sensation, which starts at my knees,
And makes its way up to my chest.
It weaves through my lungs, my insides freeze.
I might as well wait for the rest.

Take a deep breath, and hold on tight.
The feeling travels into my head.
Can't struggle. Don't put up a fight.
Just hold on to your grip on the bed.

The feeling goes to the back of my brain,
Stings my eyes, it feels like they bleed.
Depression. To others it's only a game,
Makes no difference how much you plead.

It slowly makes its way into your throat,
Scraping away at your breath.
Destroying each tune, each joyful note,
Killing any hope you had left.

Choke back your tears to the pillow case,
Making you gag in pain.
Closing your eyes, screwing up your face,
Last night you were forced to the same.

Its travelling down, straight into your chest,
Ripping apart your lungs.
Your stomach is where the pain knows you best,
Punching to the beat of a drum.

To acompany the pain, your eyes release tears
Which slowly fall down your cheeks.
A fight with depression you've felt all these years,
And the joy that your soul tries to seek.

You do this alone, not making a sound.
Confined in your bedroom space.
The hand on your heart pulls you into the ground,
And you sleep with a tear-stained face.

Whilst dreaming you feel tears fall on to the bed,
As you picture the image of death.
Pain and confusion fill up your head,
As you take in your one last breath.

This breath of air, it fills up your heart,
Runs through each vein uncontrolled.
Gradually, you end up back at the start,
As the aching vibrates through your soul.