Great idea but if you truly want my opinion I think you should stick with words that are completely yours. The thoughts you substituted in the song were really good but i think you should have used them in your own way....good though...good job hun

xoxoxo Haley

Wow.. that was loonngg.. lol! lots of emotion was oozing out of this poem.. there were a few errors with grammer and i dont really think you should use things lik "w/" or "cuz" but its your choice :) and maybe you could put it into more of a poetry form, because it is a little bit hard to read.. nice job!

You don't really write poems, but stories...

But I liked it, it was alright talking about your topic.

xDarkSuicidex 3.5