I understand your idea, but there was no real story to it. in my opinion, every poem has a story and this was all about bloodshed and torment. That may well have been the point of this poem, but i don't think the title fits the body. but your idea did get across.

You are a really good writer. Keep it up. 5/5

Sweet man, forget what losers say. your a great writer:)

Wow...very descriptive! I loved this poem! you did an excellent job! it was absolutly amazing!