Walking with the Lord

Speaking with you once more
makes me realize everything I've missed
brought back the nights of tears
and every struggle we've fought through
these memories may not be the greatest
but they've shaped who I have become today
left imprints on my soul
I can't make it through a single day
without thoughts of you slipping into my mind
there's no escaping it, no easy way out
the emotions have consumed me
while the tears come and go
only leaving me even more confused
I'm stuck in this spot
moving back, but never forwards
God's the only thing pulling me through anymore
he is leading me through each attack
guiding every step of the way
and holding me in his arms
I know I can keep my faith in him
that he will never let me down
he has carried me before
and I think I'm headed there again
if only I could figure a way out
to contain these feelings
one day toss them out the window
allow myself to be free
show four footprints instead of two
for I never thought my life would be like this
full of uncertainty and misconceptions
I always dreamed of hanging with friends
and laughing the nights away
none of these tears existed
there are many days I wish it were true
maybe I could go back in time
be carefree just for a little while
though it would end the same way
I would never change my decision
wouldn't have lost the hope
causing these thoughts to be pointless
mere dreams, never to be fullfilled
so for now I'm grasping the lord's hand
praying for the best outcome possible
and having faith in God's work