I feel so alon so empty
like i'm falling in a big hole.
things are different now,
everything is changing me myself too.i don't understand things the way i used to i heard my best friend has cancer and just have a few months to live that make's me really sad the thought that i will lose him soon is haunting me.
i don't know what to do now,he came yesterday and said to me he is leaving now for a while that i will see him about a few months again.that is what i don't understand why is he leaving when he need my help to get true this all his pain,from day one i was there for him and now he deceides to live for a while how will i know if he won't be dead by that time i know he needs my help but now i can''t do anything i feel like i've lost him now and never will see him back,he gave me a hug and said i'm sorry and left with tears in his eyes..why i just can't understan why he left me.a week ago i also went to the doctor for a bloodtest i have a problem in my stumek that i maybe cannot have children anymore the blood results are not so very bad but i have more of the white ones then the red ones and thats bad i'm sorry i cannot explain how it really is.i fight with my mom too because she don't understands me she never will.i cut myself just to feel the pain i have inside me and see how it really hurts i'm lost now i can't think normal anymore it's like my lifer is slipping away,i cry every night and think of this all what's going on win My life it's hard to see people who has a good life and then too watch yourself in the mirror and see nothing just nothing..
