I hear them all talking...
i see them all glaring..
i can feel the hatred rising in the air.
the screams are deadly the pain its killing
the words are slipping and now I'm bleeding.
the screams they eco throughout these hills..
i run home crying , slam the door ... lock the deadbolt and fall to the floor..
my lifes so hard.. so awful, so threatened... so miserable, so weak, so dreadful, so unbelievably regretted..
no one understands.. no one even cares... for i could cut and bleed and end this all and they wouldn't even shed one little tear...
i would be done with the painful jokes, the hitting, the fighting, the cutting, the bleeding and the awful screaming.
i hear it all .. they think I'm stupid, they think I'm worthless the tell me to end this... they tell to be ashamed for everything i do is wrong...
i feel so low .. so quite, so bad
so stupid so ugly... you wouldn't think thats so bad....
but I'm so confused i don't know what to do... its hard to stay here and let it all just come through... to let them have their joy their pride and their happiness... of teasing and hurting me.. I'm just not able to handle it, you see....
I've tried to ignore it but that didn't go to well for i ended up in the hospital.. and i still felt ill... maybe i should of took those pills... and maybe i could of cut deeper but guess this is what i get for not knowing life would get steeper....
they tell me they would be happier and that i would be better off... so here i am just thinking about what if they were right.. what if things were better off...?
its hard for me to decide because part of me thinks that something good can come from all of this... but as i think about it i know that i could be making the biggest mistake of my life for not doing this... for not ending it now and for letting myself go.. and for not letting this miserable part of life i have go...
they know i can hear them and they know I'm not deaf.. and when i look at them, i know that i want to choose death... they just stand there laughing as if i don't care, and they tell me things that they know i hate to hear...
this whole thing is stupid and this whole thing is dumb... i might as well do everyone a favor and choose not to go on ... i want to end this here and now i want to scream and cheer out loud..." this is all your fault... you started this all, you made me a failure and forever i will fall... you hurt me so much and now i am gone cause i know now that i am FOR SURE DONE!!!"
i cut way to deep and now I'm all done for i am now bleeding and i am almost gone.. i can feel my veins draining and i can feel them all burst... omg i cant believe this is it... I'm going to be done.... i wont feel like this and everything will be gone... I'll be happy and i will be gone.. they wont even notice they wont even cry cause this is the end its the day I'm gonna die.....
so good bye to you all i hope you have a great life because for me it was just a big waste of time...
i was brought here but not by my choice... so this is it.. no i really think its time... i have my razor for the last time... I'm done being miserable, I'm done being scared.. I'm done with this life.. i don't even care... I'm going to a better place where i wont be so hated... I'm cutting myself with the littlest doubt. I'm so happy, I've finally made it... i thank you all for making me so freaking hated!!! i hear it all.. but what do you do now.. for i am gone and I'm never coming home....
