In My Life

I have heard many stories about you
Of abuse, theft, lies, and abandon
Yet I never knew what to believe
There were moments when I hated you
For not only leaving us, but for never caring
And yet there were times
When I yearned for your love, your protection
Dreamed of talking to my true father
I've always wondered what you look like
Wanted to now whom I receive my appearance from
I have no memories of you
And the one picture I had seen of your face
Was taken from me by a woman crying bitter tears
I never imagined that you would truly want me
And when I was told of your telephone call
I was in shock and completely bewildered
I was able to call you
Yet I was too nervous to talk
I want you to accept me
To know my dreams of going to college
My hopes of publishing my poetry
I want you to be proud of my talents
And I want to tell you of my accomplishments
In things such as singing, art, writing, and track
And yet I'm afraid of disappointing you
I feel the need to impress you
Let you know of my strength to overcome terrible experiences
Though a loved one still holds anger for you
I cannot hold a grudge
I do not know who you were in past times
Whether you were kind or harsh
I only see your present self
The kind man who wants to be a part of my life finally
I may have a step-father who has been in my life for a long while
But have never connected and always fight
What I want is a father to call my own
And you are here now
I just don't want to lose you again
Don't want to be hurt
I know little of you
Yet I want you in my life

(C) Copyright 2006 by Kyleene Mitchell