I thought the rhymes were pretty good, and unsophisticated. The message of the poem wasn't obscured by your writing, and it seemed to turn out pretty well.

The only thing that bothered me was the last line, it didn't really seem to finish the poem very well... especially because I feel like this poem isn't really a song, and that you just used the word song to fit into the rhyme scheme.

The poem was good, strong emotion, but it seemed like you had a hard time with the rhymes, there still descent, but like sean said, unsophisticated which is not necessarily a bad thing. The poem was still good, but it didn't stand out from all the other love poems of this sort. As far as the last line and the use of song it is still acceptable. Song is used as a metaphor for emotions, like the saying, 'singing the same old song' meaning going through the same old emotions. I can go on about this forever, but the use of "song" has nothing to do with the words in the poem but more so the feeling she keeps going through, the same old song.

Nice job! I agree with Serendib, it was beautifully written! 5/5!

Awww. this is so sad! i almost thought it should go in the sadness section, until i got to the end. it's a great poem, and i thank you for your comment. :)

Omg this is wonderful. the rhyme was amazing and the poem was fabulous. if was the best poem i've read from you.. acutally the best poem i've read on this site in a long time. wow you really do have talent. please dont ever stop writing. i'm adding you to my favorites. so i hope to see a lot more from you soon.5/5