I enjoy reading this poem

I enjoy reading this poem

"Bargains were made, mistakes are gone
There's a new mission I must act upon"

good rhyme
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"And it seems she has not any mind
As she decorates her skin with lines"

I think the first line sounds a bit funky...
maybe:
And it seems she is out of her mind"
?
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"I look on in horror as her eyes close
And promise myself it's just a doze"

I didn't like the rhyme on the second line much, seemed forced and unnatural.
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"And Satin; he whispers in his ear
I cry because I see he hears"

Satin? or Satan? they're both words, but it seems like the latter is what you want
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"And his eyes say I've fell for it well
This road was Satin's heavenly hell."

Again, I think it should be Satan, not Satin.
~~
I thought it was a really creative and interesting poem, filled with a lot of good rhymes. The rhymes that I thought were forced or unnatural (there weren't many) I pointed out for you. Good work.

I love the title on this! it really drews the reader in.. i though this was amazing! good flow, lots of emotions, and incredible language! nice writee.. 5/5

Well I couldn't point out any further mistakes. Just go along with what Sean wrote.

Still a very good poem, and it was packed with a lot of imagery, very creepy, but it was good.

Wow great poem, you really have talent. I have been trying to write a poem like this for a week but I haven't been able to. I didn't have any idea where to begin so I gave up, but you have inspired me to try again. Please read some of my poems and comment, I really want to improve. Thank you!

Really great poem. It's easy to relate to. There's plenty of suicides here. And lots of attempts. But anyway, once again, really really great poem. I loved it. Keep up the good work.