Past

I'm slipping again
there's nothin' i can do to win
depression comes and goes
from my wrist my blood slowly flows
making a puddle surrounding me
when will my soul ever be free
thoughts from the back force their way to the font
telling me to start my hunt
find the truth and your reason to live
but i never find one i just can't believe
how my life has slipped so fast
what happened to my "wonderful" past
was everything i know a dream
is that why I'm only able to scream
saying words i never mean
being their child has lost its sheen
amazing how i can at once be loved
then be told leave then pushed and shoved
the perfect life i thought i had
it was never true it was only bad
why did i believe those lies
when they never heard my desperate cries
all i needed was a little aid
but my fate was already made
so here i sit thinking of what could have been
here depression comes once again
a fact they didn't wanna face
how could it be that i couldn't win the race
well here's their reason when they ask you why
because all i wanted was to sit and die
to feel my life just fade away
the path i took led astray
my thoughts slowly begin to scatter
that's what i get when i let my heart shatter
a dreary life of constant pain
here i lay with my open vein
now too weak to sit up straight
I'm sure they'll come but way too late
by then my blood will have covered the floor
they'll see the note i put on the door
the truth they already knew
a lonely girl with nothing to do
a shattered heart that needed healing
but a mind that kept on stealing
taking away the thoughts of joy
leaving only thoughts to destroy
as i take the final breath
the one last before my death
i read the note i hung up high
" i told the truth i didn't lie
but here i am i gotta die
slow and painful as i thought of you
all the things I've had to do
to keep you 'proud' but it would never last
now my life is one big past