Comments : Unlucky Day When I Was 2

  • 18 years ago

    by David Moss

    I enjoyed it much...you might want to consider changing the lines to have YOU dying and everyone crying:

    e.g.
    Though it was shallow they screamed, so I knew I was dying
    Til my eyes cleared of mud, and saw it was laughter's tears crying.

    But just a suggestion! Still enjoyed it!

    Cheers

  • 18 years ago

    by RetroRavey

    That's a great story to put in a funny poem, and it made me laugh.

    Rave