I hate being me!

My dad is going to die and I have not made things right but he has not Gaven me time,I hate my mom she just up and left me at the age of 7 why is my life so crazy am I ever going to find the man of my dreams am I ever going to be free from this insanity. My group home wants me more then my daddy why do I feel as no one loves me except my baby boy he calls me mommy and I come running.why could my dad not do the same for me!