Comments : Home Plate Is Reality

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I'm all for the baseball theme, as this is an original appraoch to life poems, and each thing you described kind of did make sense. But there are a few suggestions that I have and I hope you don't mind:
    Every boy and every girl.
    [This line is okay. It's more of a personal thing but the two every's in one sentence kind of take something from each other.]
    Until we come crashing down like a knife.
    [Like should seldom be used if used. It works here but I'm not sure about the word knife. I know you need it to rhyme though]
    You're happy, sunny day,
    [I think you mean your]

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    Very nice poem. I really liked how you went through and desribed each ball, {Low ball, High ball, Etc.} It was a great poem, With a great meaning to it. The only problem I had was with this line:
    "Until we come crashing down like a knife."
    It didn't seem to fit in. Great job though. =) 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

  • 18 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Ahh, I like how you compaired life to baseball. Least I think I am grasping that. I hope. Ohwell. I loved it very true aswell.