A smile on a sad face
Is what I went to see
I thought I had succeeded
But I left a part of me
Not a scent on his pillow
Not a necklace or a ring
I left a print upon his lips
Which now a tear does bring
I thought Id leave with laughter
Or the shadow of a smile
But instead I left with sadness
Momentarily worthwhile
In my arms I know hes happy
Although he is not safe
Past experiences have proven
That this isnt promised space
I have been unloyal
And yet he says he cares
Should he not be strong enough to see
And avoid this pain of theirs?
Ive told him Im not worth it
Ive said with me comes pain
But he doesnt seem to hear it
And hes drowning once again
Love shouldnt hurt as much as it does
It shouldnt tear you in two
But this pain youd have to deal with
If I were to be with you
He says hes working on it
As if its me he must impress
As if getting closer to me
Is some kind of test
Theres no exam or study
Which could prepare him for this
Im still trying to show myself
An honest reason to exist
He wants to be the boy I want him to be
Theres only one word which comes to mind
Happy is ringing in my ears
Though impossible to find
Hes gone out of his way to make me smile
And its found me lost for words
Sometimes when I am with him
It feels so good it hurts
But pain and I belong together
In a lot more ways than one
Twice as much hurt and anger
Come before the fun
Nothing he has written is pathetic
No more beautiful could his words be
Tears rolling down my face
Because its all a waste on me
Hes staying for one reason
I know that is his dad
He still fails to acknowledge
The good times to be had
We both know I will break his heart
We both know its not fair
Risk another broken smile?
No, I wouldnt dare
I dont know if its time I need
To learn to trust myself
At least enough to open up and
Love somebody else
As if the wings of a butterfly
Beautiful, delicate, brief
Our lives and souls together
Feeling somewhat complete
I care more than he knows
Although I hide my tears
Breaking his heart
One of my greatest fears
This time Im not leaving a print on his lips
Or a necklace or a ring
Instead Im leaving with a smile
Which happiness does bring
Meaningless words
None making sense
But I guess they dont have to
To any one else
