This is great...I love the use of vocabulary that describes your feelings. Its very deep. {5/5}

[PygmyPuff]

Very impressed by your poem, everything went together well, the structure of the poem, the words, i really like it welldone 5/5

"A special old man is fading away,
Like a supernova; say goodbye."
Though I understand what you are saying, this is a weak simile. Supernovas are massive explosions, not similar to "fading away"
~~~
"Young child close your eyes and dream sweet dreams,
Of what will be in your years to come.
And special old man close your eyes tonight,
And try your best to hold on."

I don't know if this stanza obeys the rhyme scheme.
~~~
I thought the poem was very touching and well done.

Aw.. that is so sweet and so sad at the same time. You did a great job on this. And the opening stanza is really good and fits well for the poem. I've always wondered if it's true that when someone is born, somebody else dies. But either way, this is a great poem. 5/5

Good choice of words
with verygood lines on it.
Excellent!
5/5

I like this poem (it has meaning)!

That is a very interesting way to look at things. I too have ill grandparents in the family who are about to die from arsenic poisaning. So I can understand. I will pray for your family. I like the poem but I think you could change a few things in the middle. But other then that its great!

A really well written poem. I love the story.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa...

The Angel of Secrets

They say as a new person comes into the world,
That someone is taken away.
That with life comes death and grief,
And now I know that's the way.

I found a way to make that a bit more in flow.
Try to change it to something a little better.
What I do is count the syllables.
Same or close syllables for each one.

Like a supernova; say goodbye.
Like how a supernova says goodbye.
A bit weird, but it flows better.

I get what you're saying, dear.
This made me think alot.
Would you mind if I something as similar as this?
I'll dedicate the poem to you :]
But still, I love your topic.
You explain it well, but it's just not beautiful.
A poem has to flow... gorgeously.
It makes it art.

This just seems like you're talking to yourself.
No art there, dear.

I don't know.

Awww this is so sad. I loved it, i loved your imagry and the flow of this poem. I hope your Grandpa gets better so he can meet your nephew :)

Okay it's the imagery that drew me in. The words were awesome. And let's see there's soemthing else that was interesting about it. The idea...about life and death was really cool and the birth and foreshadowed death applied to this well.
~Faith-less

This was so sad!!I love the way you have written this!!The imagery was good and the flow was even better!!!You have really described it well!!
All the best
And take care.

"They say as a new person comes into the world,
That someone is taken away."

The cycle of life, brilliantly put...its a sad story but something that we all have to deal with at some point...great job capturing that..

This is completely random, but if you get the chance, check out one of the "live" population counts..you'll see it jump by 3/second, and this is with deaths included in the equation..just thought it was neat

Good!

I like the imagery of this piece, it flowed nicely and the concept is great!

keep it up!

Omg this so sad and so touching
i like how stanxas are put together, very logically
and yeah written with lots of emotions i guess
i'll add it to my favs
5/5