What did I do

When I dream at night
That day turns on
playing over and over
it went so horribly wrong

I can feel his cold touch
it still makes me cry
I'm living this life
But I want to die.

What did I do to myself
I let him ruin so much
I used to have dreams
ruined; with another's touch

I carry this burden upon myself
It's consequences on my thighs
I am begging anyone for help
won't anyone answer my cries?

I'm wanting help
but I push everyone away
I let go of the wheel
and hope it all turns out okay

I lost so much
More than you could ever know
I look happy on the outside
theres so much I don't show

I want to be able to live once more
to learn how to cope
to live through this darkness
and see that there is hope

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I wrote this after I was sexually assaulted, and it's pretty much what I feel.
So yeaah...
Vote or comment if you wish!
Thaaanks a lot!