Cold

I want to get out
I want to go home
I used to be warm
now just lonely and cold
Just want my wooden room
one solid door, red satin lining
6feet under the living surface
in my happy home, finally
Solemnly waiting
for my day to leave
I'm sorry to those
who will for me grieve
Thoughts I can no longer control
flood my mind; morning until dusk
Thoughts I had believed were no more
now seem to be a must
They're weighing me down
pulling me along this path
I was meant for all I've done
Everything I am is all I have
I used to be nothing
Nothing now seems more than me
I feel like I'm battling everything
Always losing, I'm a shame to see
I hate so many things at times
family..friends..my life
A feeling that ceases to be
with yet a little caress of a knife
But that was then, and this is now
No metal in my world
Still this feeling lives
within this little broken girl
The warm rivers flow steadily
down my cheeks instead
so I guess thats a little better
than me just being dead
I think otherwise sometimes
When times become harder to stand
When I have to force myself to solitary
and keep sharp objects from my hands
Just sitting in my little corner
Dark and all my own
Away from those I cannot stand
that make me feel more alone
I wait it out until it stops
and my breath still comes and goes
with no new wounds, no more tears
With my veins that still flow
My time will come for me to end
Victorious on it's own
When I can be warm again
and finally go home..

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Not a great time..
Depressions a bytch
comment if you wish..I don't really care anymore..