A Sarcastic Thank You

I just called to say Thank You. Thank you for all the pain you have brought into my life. Thank you for the friendship you never gave and the understanding we never shared. Thank, you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I TRULY APPRECIATE the hurt I feel every time I look into your face, and the tears I cry over you when I lay in my bed at night. Yes, those lonely empty nights where I might cry a thousand million tears, and none are for me. Why do I shed over someone like you?

Thank you for your racism, your sexism, and the prejudice in general. Yes, I may be full of hatred, but that's all of your hatred, the hatred you taught me. Thank you for that too. You know I always wanted to be JUST LIKE YOU.

Not.

Thank you most of all for being the perfect example of who not to be. That is the best contribution you have made to my life.

[Note: recently found in an old notebook of mine, this writing from sometime during high school is supposed to be a note to the people from my hometown. Specifically, it's to the people of my graduating class that made every day of school for years complete hell.]