Greatest Fear

It was so quiet
my knife fell to the ground
mom walked in
and stared at what she found.

my stomach went to knots
and tried to explain to her
she looked at me with saddened eyes
trying to understand how this could occur.

then she cried
i felt real bad
and i cried too
she asked how i got to be this sad.

i tried to explain
that it wasn't her fault
i was just hurting
and the knife brought that to a halt.

she screamed at me
"why does it have to be like this?!
i thought you were fine!"
it was all her fault she began to insist.

i felt real bad
and promised never again
but she didn't understand
to me this was the end.

after that day
it was never again addressed
"you don't do it,
it's was all for the best."

but she just assumes
that when i am up here
i shed no blood
but thats the way i want it to appear.

i still cut
on my body that weeps
so the crimson
from my body still seeps.

so i keep my secret
and hold it near
for no ones to ever no
my greatest fear.