Tears of sorrow

by Brittany Hampson   Jun 14, 2006


They sky is dark just like my soul,
it cries because of pain just like my soul.
We cry because of the same things but not for the same reasons.
They sky cries because it is full,
i cry because i am broken.

the sky will brighten so will my soul,
we are the same and yet were not, so why is it that i feel the same.

my soul has brighten because of you, my sky is brighter than before, and yet it all feels just the same because my soul felt so much pain....

and yet i see the light on me and the love of others in my little world again...

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    The story you tell in this poem if very soulful and personal which is hard to find sometimes. Usually poems like this seem forced or pretentious but not in this case.

    It's a great foundation and I think you can make this poem stand above many others with a little touch up work.

    To me this poem feels like it lacks direction, perhaps due to your mood when you wrote it. But if you give it structure and reorganised it a little so it was in a uniformed presentation (four lines in the stanzas for example) it would flow much more easily and be remembered by more people.

    It is a good poem and we can all make our work better with a little patience and determination.

    Keep it up, I'll definitely be reading more!

    Bret

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