What\'s Left Of Me........

A smile,
It fades,
And all my happiness goes away,
All this pain,
It leaks into my vains,
And I wish I could just wash it all down the drain,
You don\'t know how bad it gets,
Sometimes I feel like giving up on life,
And stabbing myself with a knife,
Other times I feel the need to run,
Or on the other hand just shoot myself with a gun,
I hide in my room sometimes to get away,
Hoping somehow I can find my way through all this torture and pain,
The days just go by so slow,
And sometimes I feel I need to just let go,
By the time I get home the day has already gone wrong,
So I go into my room,
And let out the painful cries,
And I cut myself with my beautiful knife,
I know what I do isn\'t right,
But I\'m just to weak to stand up to myself and I loose the fight,
No one knows,
About these panful scars,
Because I keep them hidden beneath the stars,
I wear my swetshirts because they make me feel free,
And so no one can see the torured scars hidden beneath me,
I lay awake at nights,
Tossing and turning,
Dieing inside.......
Thinking to myself that I wish I had a better life,
I\'m alone,
I got some friends,
But they just don\'t see all these hidden treasures hidden within,
And sometimes I wish I could tell them how I really feel,
But I\'m afraid of what they\'ll think of me,
And if they\'d think I was a complete freak,
And if I tell them then they\'d probably end up not being my friends,
And then I\'d have no one left to help me get through this,
And if I died,
I wonder if anyone would shed a tear,
Or if they\'d even care....
Care that I\'m no longer here....
I wonder all the time,
How it would be......
Feel Like.....
If i was finally dead....
No more pain running through my head.....
Only silence will remain,
And there will be no more refrains...
But I also think about all the time...
What would I be without some my freinds and family by myside?
I surley can\'t go on without them..
Because I need them so,
I love them dearly and I never want them to leave me alone,
Or let me go....
So I\'m sitting here with a sigh,
Not knowing what to do with my poor tortured life.....
Should I go on and commit suicide?
And leave all my family and freinds behind....
Or should I stay in this horrible life?..
And do the best I can...
And stay strong for the ones I love and care about....
SO they don\'t have to loose me just yet....
I don\'t know what I shall do....
I\'m still here writing this.....
So it must mean I haven\'t quit yet...
This poem is what I feel....
And now you know exactly how I feel inside of me......
You never know what tomorrow may bring....
Each day that goes by...
All the pieces that decay from my life.....
But I\'ll try to stay strong....
So that I can be here for the people that need me and care for me....
Even though people will only see the peices that are left of me....