Beautiful Suicide

I make the cuts deep
Almost delicate, almost graceful
My eyes look heavy, but not from sleep
How could a suicide become so beautiful?

Not a hair is out of place
Everything set perfect, tidy and neat
Not one tear stains my face
This picture perfect scene, innocently sweet

The first cut hurts a little bit
The blood rolls down, one line then two
None of this seems to fit
There is so much left to do

Happy smile upon my lips
As I make this next cut open
Now the blood does more then drips
A quick death is what I'm hoping

All the practise cuts are aching
All the little things I forgot to finish
No one will understand this life I'm taking
How could my energy quickly diminish?

I dreamt a life of happiness
Never alone, never sad, no more tears
But my hope turned into loneliness
I better be quick, before someone hears

I tried so hard to be me
I worked hard to get to where I am
But all this trouble, I'll never be happy
My little life is just a sham

Now I can feel nothing
And tears are all over my cheeks
I've turned into such a pathetic thing
The soothing sound of blood, to me it speaks

"Never Me" is carved onto my hand
Scratched on by one of those sad days
I don't really think you could ever understand
All this disgust for me, your face betrays

My words twist no emotion
I'm use to the stone faces looking back
Don't believe I am loved, causing commotion
Slowly the world turned my heart black

I'm unknown
The lifeless body pooled with blood
The blood trails is shown
All the tears, at the end had started to flood

Just a few seconds away for death
One more check to make sure everything is right
I just have one more thing to say
I'm sorry if I give you a fright

Am I that beautiful suicide I hoped for?
Did I look peaceful, finally happy?
Don't worry; I'm dry to the core
Now at last I can be the dead me