This knife

To some my life is just another life
thats why i always come back to this knife
then i think back, i have done this before
my emotions poor out on the floor
im the only one who sees the darkness around me
all i want to do is be set free
but life isnt free anymore
thats how i always get back to where i was before
to the pain, secrets, and lies
to others this maybe a surprise
but to me its a way to live life
thats why i always come back to this knife
a knife to me is a way of masking the pain
but then the marks i would have to explain
the cut and gashes are nothing, i would say
i cover up my arms as to create a delay
my delay is no longer a delay
because peolpe have seen what ive done everyday
they act as if it hurts them to see what ive done
and then my knife turns into a gun
a gun thats loaded and ready
i try to make my hand steady
i put it to my head
realizing in one pull im dead
i put the gun down to think
my life could be over in one blink
so i go back to my knife
because its the only way i know how to live life