I'm not crazy over Japanese poems, as with Haikus, the simple for is pleasent but it doesnt particularly captive me unless the writer is able to incoorperate some sort of inspirtaional and powerful thought into the few lines the poem entails. A 5 for well written, its a lovely poem, good flow, and the thoughts presented are true. Though the thoughts themselves arent grabbing, or the word's used dont present the power I think your trying to convey. Good job though, i enjoyed it