Comments : The Dance of Life

  • 18 years ago

    by Kim

    I really enjoyed the story you presented in this poem. It had sucha tribla, exotic feel and the words created a great imagery. I think this line
    "it is seen in his face"
    Could be changed to be abit more descirptive, such as dropping the it is and adding an adjective. for example:
    Seen in his glowing face,
    The determination to stay alive
    but tis onyl a suggestion. This is a wonderful poem, well done!

  • 18 years ago

    by Jaime

    What an amazing metaphor, seriously. I love it!

    "the fire crackles and stars glimmer
    illuminating the path"

    ^Also beautiful imagery, that is only one example. There were several great ones through out the poem. Really, that was awesome.

  • 18 years ago

    by Eduardo Serrano

    I like this poem. ~__^ I'm kind of confused about it though but I still think it's good.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lost & Delirious

    This poem is amazing. It's original, I love the words you used. I love the whole poem, it's beautiful!

    Great job! 5/5

    XoXo
    Gaby

  • 18 years ago

    by Kaylee

    The poem is original and did have this exotic feel to it as if the reader is a watcher of the scene playing out. THe word choice was fine and so were your use of details but you might just want to rerread this part as for some reason it just doesn't feel like the rest of the poem:
    one which requires strength and courage
    it is seen in his face
    the determination to stay alive
    never to give up, creating a better future

  • 18 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    It started excellently but it kind of flopped towards the end.
    i like this stanza the best.

    'the fire crackles and stars glimmer
    illuminating the path
    for the next performer to enter
    exhbiting the fire dance'

    3/5 again from me

    some nice words in there but it just wasnt together.
    ~Emma