So?

So.... i cried today....
no reason in particular...
but i cried...
i cried harder then i can remember..
you weren't there for me to tell you..
you weren't there to hold..
i cried...
i can't remember the last time i cried...
...but i cried today....
so?

why is it so important?
what does it matter that i cried?
did you even notice the change in me?
did you notice the pain?
did you stop to think how it affected me?
i cried...
so?

why did you betray me?
did you think i wouldn't care?
you knew i wasn't there...
yet you still fantasized about her...
you still were intimate with him...
haven't i hurt enough?
have i not shown you love?
have i been that bad?
i cried to day...
so?

you just treated it like it was nothing...
still love me?
how?
why?
you have better thing to do...
better people to find...
a better life to pursue...
you could have been so wonderful...
you could have changed my mind...
but could have and should have always seem good at the end...
how could you?
why would you?
i cried today...
so?

i did not cry for you...
nor did i cry about you...
i weep for my youth, and ignorance...
i weep for the little things i neglected...
for my son...
for my future...
you were far from my mind when i cried...
i cried before i found out your little "secret"
but i still cried...
so?
why is that important?
tears did not fix anything...
tears will not save me...
and now i slow descend back into my false reality...
back before all my pain...
before my tears...
i will be fine...
i refuse to cry

i cried today...
so?