Now I Know

You were my big brother
More special than any other
More loving than my mother
More closer than my father
The one I looked up too
When I needed help
The only one who can help me
The one I need around
The only one I used to trust
Before I found out you were never just
I held you high above all the rest
Without putting you through any test
Now I know
How stupid I was to do so
You never even liked me
You never even cared
It never bothers you what I do
Unless you have an opportunity
To shed a little blame
I'm sorry I disappoint
I'm sorry I bring you shame
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to embarrass you
My feelings I'll keep a secret
My feelings I'll try to hide
Smiles disappear when no ones there
Tears keep appearing when I'm all alone
Though you only see the smiles
That I show the world
To keep you happy
Though my hearts breaking
All my happiness
Another thing I keep on faking.