Finally Together

by holly   Jun 22, 2006


Mucking around
and acting like a clown
dancing in the rain
laughing through the pain
friends for all of time
but deep down i wish that you were mine
and I'm dreaming about you
trying to construe
the way i feel
its so completely surreal!
whilst I'm thinking all these things
I'm subduing the pain they bring
because you love her
and though I pretend to concur
I really want you for me
I'm telling myself someday it will be
and I'll wait here forever
till that day when we'll be finally together.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Polly

    Aw that's sweet! I love this bit:
    "whilst I'm thinking all these things
    I'm subduing the pain they bring
    because you love her"
    To make the flow better you could try and make it roughly the same amount of syllables in each line...
    - Polly

    PS - I haven't enough time to comment the other nine poems tonight lol but I will get on to it tomorrow! Thanks for commenting mine I appreciate it! =D

  • 18 years ago

    by The Angel of Secrets

    Very nice poem:)

  • 18 years ago

    by ღ»Lσιѕ«ღ

    Awww, this poem was so sweet!!! I have feel this way now!! It was cute the rhymes seemed a bit forced the flow was good!! Overall 4/5!! Well written!!

  • 18 years ago

    by ღ»Lσιѕ«ღ

    Awww, this poem was so sweet!!! I have feel this way now!! It was cute the rhymes seemed a bit forced the flow was good!! Overall 4/5!! Well written!!

  • 18 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Man I've felt this way one to many times :( THis poem is one of those that many people can relate to , it says what a lot of people are feeling or have gone through in their love life! I enjoyed reading this poem, very well written!
    5/5

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