Ooooh. Very dark, Jessy. Tehe. But I liked it. You've done an excellent job with the rhyming =P

I really liked the 6th stanza. I thought it was great =D Keep it up! 5/5 =)

`Taleee. xx.

Omg this is very scary. i could never write a dark poem like this, i dont have a very good imagination, but you do! wow excellent job on this. 5/5

I loved this poem.. it was dark and the rhyming was really good and i love the way you write and wow!

WOAH! that was amazing girl! WOAH. gr8 descriptive words! 5/5

Wow, you did a great job on this one!! I love this stanza:

He looks at her pale face
Her eyes blackened with fear
This he wants agony to replace
As he brings the blade near..

The poem was dark but so good!! 5/5!!
Oh and by the way thanx for entering my contest.. Im so sorry that it took so long to get the comments out!!! Wonderful Job!!

Good imagery and rhyming, but not much along the lines of rhythm... it's still being subverted by the rhythm scheme. scary and graphic story, I almost would have put it in the explicit section since parts of it made me feel a little sick.

This gave me CHILLS.

Great write.

joy*:.xx

Great poem,great rhymes

2k=2000.....

...i was on the metro going to work when i passed out....the train was packed and everyone was really canny to me!

glad it made you laugh-my message was simple-i know i dont want to feel what i did-to feel usless and have no control so i dont want others to feel like that, its strange, you know its going to happen but you cant do anything about it, your just standing there wiating for it to happen.

Hey jessy! nice poem! relli like it! keep up the gud work!

Oh, that was dark, it really was well written
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Great emotion...very dark...

i liked it

5/5

kazza

Oooh, my God. This is terrifying! It reminded me of Wolf Creek, but that's probably cause I just watched it the other day.
That last line is so haunting, no pun intended. It gave me chills....
Take care and keep it up~Holly

That was really good. It was very haunting, and descriptive. I liked this poem a bunch and I can't wait to read more of your peoms!
5/5
ravyn

Oh how I wish I could fly
Oh, please god, just let me run..

i love that part! you make it sound so real, like it has actually happened.

Mmmm delicious. lol jk. wow this was a good poem, it was really detailed...hehe. 5/5

Wow! That was so dark and morbid! It was very well written, great job. 5/5

--Steph

Great job. You did something that was very difficult. You did a double rhyme. 5/5
-Kakashi

Great detail... very dark... & well written.
5/5

Aah...gave me shivers.