Oh Hunny. Why don't you talk to someone. At school a counselor if it isn't break for you. Or talk to your parent(s) to get you a proffesional counselor I am sure it would help you.. Everything happens for a reason. Just think how happy he is in Heaven. Streets of Gold, the gate.

"After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain"
-Superchick:Beauty from pain.