Thank you for expressing this in real words, in poetic words, thank you for not being like so many others on here,

flash backs are something I deal with all the time, They get better over time but they never go away, intense emotion and pain are so true.

thank you for being honest.

amazing job on this poem
how can i critique it when i can find nothing wrong and understand on every level of my being.

*I understood that you were once hurted, and you can't forget what happened back then. You can't even believe how you have changed since then.
*I imagined what you described, and I felt sad because of what you were going through.
*I liked this part because I think it is the saddest:

Trembling lip.
Wide blue eyes.
Deep.
Scared.
Black lines around.
An ocean of nausea washed over me,
Threatening to engulf my body.

XoXo
Gaby

Wow, Kaylee. You really went deep into your emotions in this one. And, I honestly loved it. I can relate so much. And, As I was reading, It felt like it was happening to me, And I could picture everything and feel it. Maybe cause I feel like I've been through it. I'm not sure. But I could feel the emotions.

You used powerfull wording and made it clear for the reader to understand. It was a fantastic piece over all.

I really liked this stanza alot:

"Tile floor!
Cold as I fell to my knees.
Hands wrapped around my chest.
Rocking back and forth to calm breathing.
Fast breathing...
pounding headache."

I could relate to that part the most. I hope you're alright.. If you need to talk you know I'm here mmkay? Keep your head up hun. 5/5

`Taleee. xx.

Aww..you poor thing..this was an excellent write hun.. it gave me chills and nearly made me cry.. the flow was good and your descriptions were amazing! i could literally feel the hands on me.. great job! 5/5 keep your chin up!

Wow, i duno what to say. This was really sad and i could feel the pain and emotions, wow. just awesome., took my breath away.
xxxx

WOW...that was an amazing peice of work...so true...the moments flashbacks come...everything is so hard...you cought it so right...Great Job...
Emma 5/5

Kaylee, your poem really puts forth the emotion. I believe poetry helps us heal some of our pains. I don't write many sad poems but really I started writing again because of the death of my mother and other friends. I felt better once I got the poems on paper and I hope you do too. By the way you are way too young to know John Denver but most people have heard of "Rocky Mountain High". Thanks for reading my poem.
Nata aka "The Tie Guy"

Superb!! Pain in poetry is a wonderful marriage, and you've proved that. This piece is clearly a "vent" poem. Your words are painful and strong. Great write!

Wow.. that poem was truly amazing. It was very intense, and you described everything very well. And the last two lines really went well with it, it's very sad how people can do that, and I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. But you did a great job on this. 5/5*

This is actually a very powerful poem. At first I wasn't sure what was happening, but as I kept reading I was just like, "wow". I sincerely hope that this poem isn't based on a true story, even though there are, sadly, a lot of it happening out there. I liked how portrayed a girl sick and having an illusion of "a crime I did not commit". To me, this meant that, even though it wasn't your fault, it still affects you possibly even more than the person who did it. Great job on this one.

Awww, wow that was so sad and extremely powerful. The whole poem was really deep and put forth great emotion. This was honestly so different but unique and beautifully put together. The words struck me deeply because I was once a victim of abuse and molestation. Flashbacks are indeed painful sessions. Keep up your perfectly excellent work! 5/5

Wow really deep and emotional kinda scared me but also made me sad at the same time really well written and well if this is based on a true story i'm here to talk

Omg...this left me speechless...such good imagery...i'm still seeing the pictures in my mind...you put so much emotion into this...it was so powerful...i was completely drawn in...excellent job...i loved it...5/5.

stay strong...
~*~lisa~*~

WOW!!! I really honestly can truthfully say, i have noooooooooo idea what to say about this..I am really completely speechless..your poured your heart out babe..and did it perfectly!!! I LOVED it Definitely 5/5

Wow, this was a really good poem. It seemed more like a story, but in a poetic way. The dialogue and the actions. Really good stuff Kaylee, now for a very small critique.

"There was tile floor that evening."
[that sentence didn't seem to make sense. There was 'a' tile floor that evening. I don't know, but something is missing in that sentence]

That was all, I found no other flaw to this poem. Everything was great, the flow was amazing. You brought this poem to stops at the perfect time, using the right words. Awesome stuff Kaylee!

I had to read and comment this again!!

Out of all the poems I've read on this site, I can relate to this one the most.

I have some more favorite lines:

""Please let me leave." I whispered.
Under my breath I continued to beg.
Something was crawling in my stomach.
I could feel hands on me.
Not mine.

"Stop touching me." I whispered.
Crying without anyone to hear.
Not a soul was there besides me,
But in my mind there he stood."

When you say "I could feel hands on me" and then you said "not mine" I liked that! Omg!! I can't get enough of this poem..

Mmkay. I'm going now. =) Keep it up Kaylee.

I HATE abuse of any kind, and sexual abuse sickens me most. I have always thought that I would kick a guy in the nuts a billion times before I let them lay one hand on me, but it didn't end up that way at all. I was luckly that he didn't go all the way, but I remember him touching me after I said no, I remember him going where I didn't want anyone to be on my body, and I remember the feelings that I would never be clean again, ever. I know the feeling of not understanding how it could have happened and blaming myself over and over again because I wanted to understand why I hadn't stopped him. I am all with you, STOP THE ABUSE!

-Tainted

This poem is really deep Kaylee I havent read a poem like this in a looooonnngg time that I really enjoyed this much! LIked the style of it..I don't read non-rhyming poems to much but I'm extremely glad I read this one!! I am with you on the stop abuse thing!!! Seems like so many people feel that way, but so many crimes are being commited!Great poem!

Perfectly written poem. It keeps the readers attention from beginning to end. I have no suggestions for this, as I don't think it could be improved. Definitely 5/5

Wow... that was a great poem. it really hit me hard. 5/5

ARP