Memoires Of Dominique

Sometimes I feel lucky to be me
Other days I wish I didn't be
Some days I cry on end for no reason
Other days I can't help but commit treason

My life is happy enough, for someone like me
But all the hidden sorrow you cannot see
It pains me to live a lie behind smiles
And live my life in bush spreading on for miles

My memories are tough to feel
Sometimes I don't even believe they're real
When I was little, I remember mum and dad having a fight
About all the money that keeps disappearing from their sight

I remember crying one day after grandma's birthday
Because my great uncle did something that had betrayed
He did more then innocent uncles do
But he didn't rape me, this I think is true

I remember when my Nanna got really sick
And Fava made me cry, he was being a real prick
He made my mum cry, he hurt his own daughter
But now, he's sick too, and his bravado is starting to falter

I remember being forgotten by my grandma
Because I live way too far
I remember her forgetting my birthday
And she didn't have an excuse to say

I remember when I first hurt a friend
My pain didn't seem to end
I made her cry
And that just made me want to die

I remember when I first started dancing
In my little leotard I would go a prancing
All eager to dance away all my energy
And then my love of happy dance turned to dance of tragedy

One day I was iron my school clothing
And on that day, my mother I was loathing
I saw the steaming iron, bellowing out smoke
Then I start my wrist on the burning edge with one quick stroke.

I remember the day I decided to transform
From this little girl who felt so deformed
I put on the black makeup every morning now
And I altered my life with my friend's know how

Sometimes I feel lucky to be me
Other days I wish I didn�t be
Some days I cry on end for no reason
Other days I can't help but commit treason

I remember meeting this guy, he was so nice
His eyes were beautiful, so easy to entice
He made me feel special, he said all these words
But little did I know, he way playing with other 'birds'

I remember my first time on pointe shoes
And how my mum stood back, she's so easy to muse
I loved how I felt the weight of the world was off my shoulders
And I told this to mum, I told her

I remember once sitting in the shower, crying
And wishing with all my heart of dying
I sat there; I looked at my wrist, holding this blade
All I wanted was this pain to fade...

I remember when I wrote my first poem
And how I was so eager to show them
I poured my heart into that poem, I made it from me
But nope, my parents didn't believe what they see

If you've read up to here
Then maybe my message may be a little clear
I am making my life your business now
I don't know why, I don't know how

This is all true, this is my thought
These are the memories that haunt
I remember when I wrote my first suicide
How I wished that I had finally died

These are my memories, for you they are here, displayed
This long-suffering pain is finally going to be betrayed
I write my thoughts down just for you
So I don't have to go out there and make them true

This is my memoires, memoires of Dominique
The little girl who wants to be unique
Just by reading this, you have humbled my heart
And this end has become a new start

* This is truly real. My real name is Dominique May Russo. And these are my memories *