You'd hate me too

This really astounds me
and i hate myself for it
i take full responsibility
and i am sorry for this
i have ruined this for you
i wish i could go back
but theres nothing i can do
i have caused myself to crack
this is so hard to face
knowing things i have destroyed
now theyre gone without a trace
and i dont blame you if you hate me
i wish i could do better
and if i could, id fix myself
but i cant change this ugly cutter
into something thats of worth
if you hate me, i do ten times more
if you despise me, your not alone
because i hate myself enough
to walk out life\'s door
or force myself to drown
i am only in peoples way
and this is just a disguise
because even though theres things you say
i know youll still hate whats inside
look at all the chances i blew!
and if you were smart, youd hate me too.