The Heart Of The Ocean

Some of the rhymes seem a little contrived -- back rhyming with black. The rhyme format isnt really necessary. I like what you've set up but it doesnt seem to be executed as effectively as it could be.

Icicle is such an understatement, isnt it? ;p

'water surging under her' -- that's pretty much a given..

"Unsinkable," they cried,
"She'll never be pushed down"
Rose held dearly in the mist,
While Jack would surely drown,

I added some quotes to make it more clear. Brought, I believe, would be a better word than pushed. Also, what was Rose holding? Dangling participle. I figure she's holding to the chest or whatever, but still, it should be in the poem.

Finally, you adhere so closely to the story/movie that people would wonder about the necklace had they not seen the movie. 'Quacking ripples' is cumbersome and doesn't work.. ripples just dont sound like ducks, hehe.

It's beautiful!!!! i love it soooo much

Goody good good love. another wonderful poem with a great story. one of the things i like most about your work is that you use a huge range of words, instead of recycling them from other poems. I always find it hard to get out of that habit. i'm always trying to use new and interesting words and themes for my word.

Brad

P.S. i don't want to turn this into a game so lets just finish it here...you are the better writer.