VERY GOOD KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. HOPEFULLY THAT GIRL WILL WAKE UP ONE DAY A SEE WHAT SHE REALLY HAD. CAN YOU PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE ON MINES.

Who downvoted this?!?! =O!

This was so good! I loved the outro.

Without you I bring myself down more,
There are some things I just can't see.
[Those lines were sad, but really good!]

I don't see anything wrong in this. I thought it was great the way it is. =D 5/5 tehe

`Taleee. xx.

Wow this is alot like how i feel right about now. nice job loved it keep it up 5.5

Funny how you never know what you have until it is gone...
Great lyrics my friend...I caught myself singing in my head to my own beat...lol

Superb and just radiating so much emotion. Gotta say that I loved it!! I love the intro the most though...haha I admire you. I could NEVER write a song like this in a million YEARS! It hardly seems fair that you're taletented with poetry AND music lol!! Awesome job!!

Amazing song...just reading it I put it to a beat in my head, kinda hard not too..it will definately be awesome once it is put to music...if there is any way possible, I would love to hear it once it's done...I love it...5/5

That was great!! If i knew the beat it would probably be better lol but it was good!!

Damn Darien!!! Those were some powerful words, so sad, so bitter, so emotional. They really touch me, please send me the song when its recorded, or maybe sing it to me? Those lyrics are fantastic!!!!

Wonderful job, you're an excellent lyric writer.

I don't know why I didn't add you to my favorites sooner.

These are really great lyrics filled with so much emoition i know ive felt like tihs in my life so i can relate to these lyrics so much great work

5/5

gemma 20 in cheshire

xoxooxoxo

Great job on this one too.....i think making it into a song would be the best thing ...keep up the great work...5/5

Wow. The title really intrigued me at first, but the actual lyrics were better than i expected. I can hear it put to music now, it's going to sound amasing.

I really liked this part.

Verse 3:
All you did was put me down,
And never tried to help me up.
Sacrificed everything I ever had,
To see you smiling at my grave.

Anyway, good work, and keep it up.

--Steph

By the way, i just added you to my favorites:)

Darien. what can i say mann....you are a great great poet...i love all of your poems, i can say over and over again the same thing on every comment, but im pretty sure you will get tired of it!! this was awesome 5/5

Amazing lyrics. Wow, I'm speechless. I thought this was really well written and emotional. Perfect write! keep it up 5/5

Wow-you are great at writing lyrics-Usually Its harder for me to feel emotion in a song than with a poem, but this was really deep and emotional-I love it! You should definately write some more songs-Great work---5/5

I really like this, the only problem I had with it was:
Lost your job, [so broke]
People think you're a joke.
That just didn't work for me, but that could just be me. Other than that, I really like this. Good job. 5/5

Very good basis for a classic rock song. Its hard to pull off writing songs with good lyrics that dont overkill the actual song. But you did it, congrats =)

Awwh, that was really sad hunn. The flow was good and I liked how you used short little lines, it added effect. The emotion was storng and the descripitons good. Nicley done 5/5