I love the first and last stanza, which is the same. Actually, I like that the beginning is also the ending, it fits perfectly in the poem.
I wouldn't change anything to this poem, I love it just the way it is.

XoXo
Gaby

Well natalie,, what do i say about a masterpiece like this,, i mean u expressed ur thoughts real well,,i mean,, u made me feel ur pain,,the structure was good too,,,keep it up girl,,i hope i get to read more poems like this

I love your work! your poems are always so deep and you always express your emotions. you're definitely on my favorites list. =)
~rhi

I really liked ur poem.. i kno how it feels to want to leave this world and run away from they pain.. i've felt it for so long

There seems to be a lot of poems on this topic on this site. I have no doubt that they are all really heartfelt, but from a poetic point-of-view the common thread is that they are starkly desolate and concentrate almost exclusively on the physical aspect with barely a regard for the emotional aspect.

Lines like "Purple hand marks covered my tanned back everyday" just don't strike the right chord because "tanned" is superfluous to the context.

I felty like you wanted to tell us so much, and draw us into the character's world, but the last stanza just left me with a feeling of hopelessness.

I just feel this is a very desloate poem and as a result: an unenjoyable and dour read. Sorry.

Wow its really great poems...

Very good. You have excellent style, form. I pray this hasn't happened to you. Good job sweets.

I liked how you ended with the same stanza that you started with. Over all the poem was good. It was very emotional. If you're in this type of situation, you do not deserve this, and if you ever need anyone to talk to, pm me and ill try my best to help out. Keep up with the writing, you're very talented.

Your writing is very expressive, i like it. Great job. I like the repitition of the very first stanza. 5/5

Pure shivers through my body. Horrible but so greatly written. I'm sorry is all I can really say. Hun, I hope things get better. Keep writting though, it gets you through some bad. Much love 5/5

The fifth stanza is kind of off for me. The rest of it is fantastic... but the fifth just doesn't make sense quite the same. It's cryptic, it doesn't rhyme as well, I dunno.

Very very good

timehealsallwounds*

Wonderful. You're an inspiring writer.

A very sad poem. I hope it's not true though, it very tpuching you give it a lot of feeling to it. Great job.

Good I like it idk about the last sentence
"Of wanting to leave this horrible world that God designed."
if your going to make the sentence sad and negative whats the reason for putting God in it? lol

but overall great

5/5

God Bless

-chris

Wow. Nat, this poem was so sad yet so wonderful. The imagery was well done. Every word flowed flawlessly. Your such a beautiful writer, you've got a way with words.

I especially this part of the poem:

"Purple hand marks covered my tanned back everyday,
I'd cry at night telling myself it would all be okay.
A tough knight in shining armor would come rescue me,
Releasing me from her prison, setting me free."

It brought tears to my eyes. Keep your head up high darlin. And Take care.

ilu. 5/5

--Angie xoxo

P.S. Thank you so much for commenting on my poem. And for finding that mistake. *blushes* Heart you! =)

Omg...this is so sad...i'm so sorry if this actually happened to you! this poem drew me in right from the start...the details were so awesome...i loved it truly...5/5.

Sorry...stupid computer won't let me vote.

Eep! I started to cry, not like really hard, but tears actually fell. I love your poems they are so intense.

Wow this is a strong and powerful poe. you have expressed yourself beautifully and clearly and the flow is great.xxALLYxx