Insecurity

I hate when this happens
It tears me in two
isn't it obvious?
How I long to be with you.

We have plenty of time and space
I don't need any more
I have to force self-control
because being without you is a chore

I want so badly just to hold you
To kiss you and everything
but I force myself to deal
and just swallow all of the pain

I couldn't sleep last night
You were the only thing on my mind
I kept tossing and turning
hoping to pass the time

What happened?
Did you change your mind?
Because other reasons
I can't seem to find...

I hate all of these questions
they're making me go crazy
All I wanted to do
was spend some time with my baby.

Is that too much to ask?
Is that too much to expect?
Am I being selfish?
Lord knows I'm not perfect

But I sure do try my best
I only wish for us to be happy
I try to make that obvious
without being too mushy or sappy

But I love you Oh So Much!
And that I know is true
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you and only you.

It hurts so bad not to have
what I want and what I need
My heart has little tears in it
I know because I feel it bleed

I know you love me
and this is hard for you as well
I hope I don't sound obsessed
but everyday without you is hell.

So tell me what to think
after we make plans and you don't show
How should I feel?
Because honestly I just don't know...

Well I will swallow all this pain
so you don't have to see
How much I really love you
and how difficult this is for me.